sniffles

I had originally written a red bull and vodka influenced post for this weekend on the the train back to New Haven on Friday. However, I've opted not to post it. I *think* that I reached a new spiritual and emotional level, and I'm going to be OK guys, I seriously promise you.

Yes, this week was one of the worst weeks in the history of my short life. Yes I made a ton of mistakes. But I realize that my problems are really not all that bad, and that there is worst going on in this world. I feel like I'm waking up from the deep sleep of this week of despair. Thank you Lil E for convincing me to not stay home today and indulge my pensive and reflective mood. Thanks for dragging my ass on the bus.

A series of events occurred this week that broke my spirit and left me feeling like a shell of myself. I hit rock bottom on Tuesday. I was a wreck. I just wanted to feel as numb as possible and just not be able to *think* about what was going on. I had my first heartbreak of the week(sublet woes), and I was so devastated. I just wanted it so badly, and it seemed as though it were tangible, and it just slipped through my fingers.

Thursday was better, and I thought that the week would get progressively better, especially since Friday was such a big day. I saw beautiful Jamie on Friday, and it was as if she never left the US. It was a just another one of our adventures, except in NYC. We had thai food, played celebrity games, and reminisced about our WM days. I was so excited about meeting her and Patrick for hh. Then, it's like, you see your whole life crashing before your eyes. The encounter on the street was the most awkward in the world.

At hh, I tried so very hard to be good, and be nice, but just keep my distance. Things are supposed to still be the same, riiiight. Then, there were no titles. That really pissed me off. I really hate lying by omission, it's still a lie, it's still an untrustworthy act that seriously makes me unreceptive.

Anyways, the night was fun, yet a bit altered. I'm so glad that I had a chance to see Patrick and Jamie! I know we're always going to be there for each other, which is quite comforting!

I've realized that I've come to find true friends in New Haven also. It's difficult imagining New Haven life without the girls. Even though I was so not in the mood to go, the Boston trip was actually a mood alterer. Yes, Boston is kinda boring, but still nice to go. It's like the place that you move to when you don't want to be in the suburbs, yet don't love the hustle and bustle of city life. Which is great if you like that, but that's not me. I'm a city girl, and I want to be where the fun is. I don't want to miss out.