Where Are You???

It's been a really difficult week. It's supposed to be the happiest week of my grad school life, since I'm actually finishing classes for good. But there's been some downers that are taking me away from the celebrations.

I thought that I was doing the right thing, by going home last Friday. I wasn't. As soon as I got home, my Mom and Dad took me into my room, sat me down, and told me that my beloved Chestnut had ran away. Of course I was and still am pissed off, they never told me and have just lied to me over the phone for the past few weeks. He's been gone since February 2nd, and my heart broke into a million little pieces. I walked through the neighborhood at 11:00 PM, looking and listening, and calling for my little boy. Heavily sedated, I fell into a deeply morose mood, starting that night.

Saturday, I woke up and looked for Chestnut some more. I ended up with cuts and bruises from an accident. But I persevered, looking for my little doggy. But I couldn't find him. My Dad and I went to the Humane Society to look for him, but he wasn't there. It made me mad, cuz there was a little pomeranian in one of the pens. Do they reallly think that someone wouldn't want their pomeranian? Of course the little one has an owner. I ended up staying in Nordstrom Rack for 5 hours, cuz it took my mind off of the situation. Finally that night, I actually decided that I would eat a smidgen, since I hadn't eat since 2:00 on Friday. I wanted to see Music and Lyrics, but it was sold out at the Rio, so I came back, bought some boxed wine, and drank a bit.

Sunday, I slept for most of the day, but did manage to go to Montgomery Mall for more retail therapy. Desperate times call for shopping.

Monday it took me forever to leave to go back to New Haven. I hadn't completed the mission of finding Chestnut, and I wanted to stay until we got him back. At least when I got back to New Haven, I got to hang out with Shinya, which was comforting.

Tuesday was kinda good in the sense that I found some comfort in an old friend. But it's bad because I know that I'm falling into old bad habits. With promises of shopping, lunch rendevous, and cheap rent at his place if he leaves, I was wooed by a certain someone. Hearing his voice was so wonderful, yet so wrong. But I enjoyed it, and it took my mind off of the situation for at least 5-6 hours.

Wednesday, I finished my appreciative inquiry paper. I am proud of that, cuz it took me forever to actually have the energy and drive to do it. Even though it's a short 9 page paper, I feel like it was an accomplishment to finish it because of what's happened.

I'm hoping that Chestnut will come back soon. Please pray that he's doing alright, and that his current caretakers will see one of the lost dog postings, take him to an area vet and see that he is microchipped, and have the courtesy to bring him home.