Putting the Ho in Homecoming...

*Warning- the events of this weekend may cause contagious laughter and or make you wish that you lived a glamorous life*

On Thursday morning, I got up bright and early, to take my long train ride to DC. As soon as I got on the train, I realized that I forgot to bring my estrogen patches. Can we say hot flashes all weekend? Yes. Anyways, on the 5 hour train ride, I was thoroughly entertained by the elderly lady sitting next to me, the geisha book, and sean paul (on my nano, silly!). Just when I was thinking I'd never get to Chocolate City, the conductor announced on the intercom that the train had finally arrived at Union Station. I so wanted to kiss the ground. Finally, out of CT! So then I proceeded to take the metro back to MD. My Mom met me at Shady Grove, and she immediately took me to Nordstrom Rack! Yay for Mom! I was overwhelmed with emotions as I took in the breathtaking Maryland scenary. Why do I always run away from you, when I only want to be in your presence? Then, we got to my house. Little Chestnut was there, extremely excited about seeing his favorite person in the world, lol. And I checked the scale to see if my suspicions were correct. And they were. I've lost my five pounds of surgery fat, and I'm back to a nice 103!! Yay!

On Friday, I ran a bunch of errands before making the drive down to Williamsburg. It took a full 5 hours. But I finally got there, and meeting Kim, Elise, Kristina, and Amaka was such a heartfelt reunion! We immediately decided that we would be sketchy alumni and go to the on campus party. First thing we noticed was that we're old as hell. I've never been one to say such a thing, but it's true. I felt like an old granny at that party. Second thing that was noticed was dang, there's a lot of black freshmen at WM. Yes people, Wiliam and Mary has become more diverse. As was pointed out, there were at least 2 black ppl on each page of the yearbook in the senior section. But anyways, the party was kinda boring, with the weird DJ and all. So we all decided to go down to Lodge One and sing karaoke. We sang Mariah Carey's Always Be My Baby and Madonna's Like a Virgin. Oooh, I was all about Like a Virgin. I tried to be all sexy too, singing, oooh like a virgin, feels so good inside, when you hold me, when you love me.... but it came out cute and innocent. You know how I do. So then we went back to the party, not particularly to dance to the bad music, but to check out the sexiest man alive. This man needs to be included in Essence's sexiest bachelors alive list, cuz he is definitely a delicious gift from heaven. The pitiful party was over at 1:00 AM, and Kim wanted to dance for real. So she called some friends of hers, and we went to their Ludwell apartment. The details of this meeting are a little serious, so feel free to skip this part of the weekend synopsis...

Names will not be revealed because it was such a terrible situation and it's way too embarrassing as it is. Basically, Kim was dancing with her friend. I'll call him Elephant Man. Elephant Man got quite excited when he danced with Kim, and it was quite apparent. He then came and danced with me. I never did like Elephant Man all that much, I always thought that he was too weird to chill with. Now I know that he's a perv too... So he comes over to dance with me, and I'm like, ew he has a boner. But I danced with him for a song and then told him I needed some Sean Paul (to get away from him), and proceeded to go check out the music collection in the bedroom. Little did I know that he would follow me in there. So I was searching for SP on the playlist, didn't find much. Then, Elephant Man asked me, do you like this song? I will give you lyrics to the song, because they basically described Elephant Man's pathetic desires for the night:

"I looking some nookie tonite
Lord gimme some nookie tonite...
I looking 'a nookie
me nah stop till i find it"

So Elephant Man is dancing with me all close, and all of a sudden, he grabs my hips and basically starts, well imitating sexual acts. And I thought, oh elephant man is just getting caught up in dancing, he means no harm. After I didn't get the idea from his blatant grinding/ thrusting, Elephant Man decided to plant an open mouth kiss on my jaw. I was repulsed of course, but I thought, oh well, Elephant Man really didn't mean to do that, his mouth just accidently landed on my jaw. Next, Elephant Man seemed to be making feeble attempts to push me to a chair, but that wasn't happening. Then, all of a sudden, Elephant Man slammed the door, as if he was getting all hot and bothered and felt that he had done some foreplay, and it was time to do the deed. Then, this crazy boy took off his shoes, and was attempting to use his body to forcefully push me to the bed in the room. I had been oblivious to his perv desires all night, up until he slammed the door. I mean, had my friends not been in the other room, then I think that he would've tried to force himself on me. Just shows how pathetic he is, he can't get any ass, so he tries to force himself on girls. But anyways, I quickly said that I should go check on my friends, got his nasty body out of my way, and ran into the other room. Of course, all the rest of the guys in the room laughed at him because he looked like a fool. I definitely embarrassed his pathetic perv ass to the point where he couldn't even say goodbye to us, and avoided my friends and me for the rest of the weekend.

Promptly after getting out of disgusting Elephant Man's clutches, we left his apartment and proceeded to go to IHOP, where I relived the gruesome events, and ate cheesesticks. We stayed out til 5 AM that night and went back to the Econo Lodge. Amaka, Kim, and I had to sleep in one bed, like sardines. So of course I woke up at around 8:30 on Saturday morning.

Saturday was basically a jam packed day. Amaka, Kim, and I went to the Cheese Shop and purchased tasty sandwiches. I savored every delicious bite. All of us then proceeded to go the football game and people watch. Patrick, Mimi, Maggie, and Sam came to sit with us too, which made us all quite merry. I was glad to talk to Patrick and catch up. And Mimi and I took a cute pic with me sitting on her lap. And then I got caught up in the game. I was intrigued by the cheerleaders, considering that I used to be a cheerleader. I intently watched the bases' contorted, pained faces as they attempted to lift the flyers up from the ground. Thank goodness I never was a base, having to lift some FA off of the ground. That would've sucked. And I actually watched and understood the game. I think that Sidney would've been proud (she actually was the only person that ever explained the game to me).I think that our team won (I don't know for sure, cuz I didn't stick around for the end).

Afterwards, I went to the AKA house to see my sorors! Aww, the house is beautiful, looks just as pink and green as ever! It was good to see everyone and catch up. The girls had such cute black AKA baby tees on. Sigh, I want one, lol. Then, my friends and I went to Red Lobster for dinner.

After a filling dinner of coconut shrimp, we all headed to the Step Show. All I can say is that the show was good and Deltas were beastly as usual. At least it was a chance to see the hot man. We then went back to the hotel to get changed for our night out. Kim, Kristina, and I went to the Spanish House to dance, while Amaka and Elise went to the delis to drink a bit. They are so crazy, they went to Wawa and filled coffee cups with alcohol. I was fooled, lol! Now we should've known that it was going to be a worst than expected night cuz Kim, Kristina, and I happened to see a real live skunk by Tazewell. It was humongous, and we got away as quickly as we could. The Spanish House brought back a lot of memories, and I saw so many people that I care about. The party was kind of boring though, so we were trying to find another place to go. So I decided to call dumbass (or DA). Now there is a story to this DA call, encounter, etc...

DA started to get in touch with me two weeks ago to make Homecoming plans together. He even told me that he could "chill" on Friday and/or Saturday. I never got back to him. But I called him on Saturday to see what was going on, and perhaps to stir up some drama. So when I called, he picked up and asked me what was up. I told him about the situation, and he told me that he just wanted to chill at his crib tonight. Then he told me he was approaching the language houses, and that we could meet up, so he could take me back. And so I agreed to meet. Well, DA was like, I've missed you, I want to chill with you. And I was like, I need to be with my friends tonight. The he proceeded to give me long, drawn out reasons why I should come back with him. And I told him that I would be out all night with my friends. He told me that I should call him when I'm finished, and that he really wanted to be with me, sigh. But then I decided to kiss him. This was the mood killer, so I was like, I'll call you if I have time. He kept saying please come back to the car, I'll show you what I can do. Whatever. And don't you know, he texted me a couple more times that night. Needless to say, the feeling is gone.

So I went back to the party and flirted with another boy. It's the only way people! We were supposed to go to Cornerstone, but there were a couple of problems and it couldn't be done. But we did walk to the ends of the earth and then some.

We went to bed late again, and I had to get up early and say goodbye to everyone. It was so hard to leave, just because I knew that I wouldn't be seeing these people that I care deeply about for awhile. And I didn't realize that William and Mary had made such a lasting impression on me, and that I'd actually miss it. And then, when I had to leave from DC at 3:00, I was overwhelmed with sadness, knowing I'd be leaving such an amazing area, with everything I possibly want and need at my fingertips.

Well at least I had a nice welcome back to New Haven. Vanessa picked me up, and Derek came along for the ride. We were discussing my belly dancing for Jesus, etc. Quite entertaining. Of course, Vanessa transitioned from being ho to wife, and I'm still just a ho, sniff sniff.