Where Are You???

It's been a really difficult week. It's supposed to be the happiest week of my grad school life, since I'm actually finishing classes for good. But there's been some downers that are taking me away from the celebrations.

I thought that I was doing the right thing, by going home last Friday. I wasn't. As soon as I got home, my Mom and Dad took me into my room, sat me down, and told me that my beloved Chestnut had ran away. Of course I was and still am pissed off, they never told me and have just lied to me over the phone for the past few weeks. He's been gone since February 2nd, and my heart broke into a million little pieces. I walked through the neighborhood at 11:00 PM, looking and listening, and calling for my little boy. Heavily sedated, I fell into a deeply morose mood, starting that night.

Saturday, I woke up and looked for Chestnut some more. I ended up with cuts and bruises from an accident. But I persevered, looking for my little doggy. But I couldn't find him. My Dad and I went to the Humane Society to look for him, but he wasn't there. It made me mad, cuz there was a little pomeranian in one of the pens. Do they reallly think that someone wouldn't want their pomeranian? Of course the little one has an owner. I ended up staying in Nordstrom Rack for 5 hours, cuz it took my mind off of the situation. Finally that night, I actually decided that I would eat a smidgen, since I hadn't eat since 2:00 on Friday. I wanted to see Music and Lyrics, but it was sold out at the Rio, so I came back, bought some boxed wine, and drank a bit.

Sunday, I slept for most of the day, but did manage to go to Montgomery Mall for more retail therapy. Desperate times call for shopping.

Monday it took me forever to leave to go back to New Haven. I hadn't completed the mission of finding Chestnut, and I wanted to stay until we got him back. At least when I got back to New Haven, I got to hang out with Shinya, which was comforting.

Tuesday was kinda good in the sense that I found some comfort in an old friend. But it's bad because I know that I'm falling into old bad habits. With promises of shopping, lunch rendevous, and cheap rent at his place if he leaves, I was wooed by a certain someone. Hearing his voice was so wonderful, yet so wrong. But I enjoyed it, and it took my mind off of the situation for at least 5-6 hours.

Wednesday, I finished my appreciative inquiry paper. I am proud of that, cuz it took me forever to actually have the energy and drive to do it. Even though it's a short 9 page paper, I feel like it was an accomplishment to finish it because of what's happened.

I'm hoping that Chestnut will come back soon. Please pray that he's doing alright, and that his current caretakers will see one of the lost dog postings, take him to an area vet and see that he is microchipped, and have the courtesy to bring him home.

things that are difficult to fathom

1. unattractive ppl getting booty. yes, i understand that they need luv too, but my not so cute man-child of a co-worker is engaged?!?!? Wow. there is hope for us all.

2. the point of giving out contact info, for no apparent reason. doesn't the recruiter know that once you give out all of that info, candidates will stalk? this is why i only attempt to supply an email addy, since i've been stalked before (and it was scary).

3. that i am still alive after yesterday (ask me, and i will provide you with the details).

that is all, for now. i'm going home to md tomorrow, and am quite excited:)

lazy sundays

i love lazy sundays, during which i chill languidly in my sunny apartment. no, i didn't go to church today. and yes, i went to the library later than expected. but i had the pleasure of eating cranberry granola like cereal (yum yum) and chicken tikka marsala from costco. oh, and i can't forget those little sin cakes- aka chocolate lava cakes from Trader Joe's. it was so wonderful.

i'm realizing that i need to get my act together. i have around 14 weeks until i graduate, which means that i need to aggressively tackle the job search. i will put in my cover letter, please hiring manager, give me a job so i don't have to be a ho on the street, lol. i do like the thrill of the hunt though, we'll just have to see where it takes me.

i can't believe how quickly this trimester is going by. maybe it's cuz i only have on month of class, lol. but omg, i only have 2 more classes, 1 more presentation, and 2 more papers before i am done with grad school! is that not crazy? i'm not even 23 1/2, and i'm almost done with grad school. just 2 more weeks, and i can say i'm freakin done with university of new haven. in three more weeks, i will never have to set foot in the library again! from there, i will spend my tuesdays and wednesdays shopping, having fun, and being naughty in the new haven area! maybe spending beautiful days in new york with jamie, patrick, andrew and kim. it's like, i'll have a little piece of my life back.

speaking of life, i am excited about a new trip that i am planning. boys and girls, in the near future, i am doing MONTREAL. no kidding. the city is supposed to be fab. and it's canada, always the hotspot, lol. there's tons of diversity, so hopefully there will tons of sexy men for me to check out, haha. plus, the trip is effing cheap. around a 100 dolla train ticket, and around a 100 dolla hostel stay. sounds good to me! now i just gotta work out the timing and ppl. but i'm good at this trip planning thing, so it won't be a problem, right????

gotta go read about the world of compensation.

nightmares

well, it was a rough night. maybe it was cuz yesterday was a rough day, with me having to jump in front of a tow truck and scream "stop" so that he wouldn't fucking tow my car. damn new haven.

i went to bed at 9:00, hoping to get a good 8 hours of sleep. unfortunately, i was plagued with bad dreams. so i was waking up almost every hour. they were pretty bad, cuz i kept waking up dehydrated, and drinking bottles of water.

anyways, so the one that made me the most freaked out was about me being an admin assistant after graduation. that was an obscenely upsetting dream.

in my other dream, the summer analysts had come to MS. we were trying to be on our best behavior,so that the summer analysts would want to become full fledged employees. i had this talk with one, telling her that things aren't really what they seem. and she responded with, "well, maybe it's because everyone dislikes you". and I was really annoyed, and i told her that it was other stuff. in my dream, myself and the summer analysts went with the contract recruiter to some offsite place. actually, it looked like some icky shipyard. then it became a place that looked like a carnival.

sigh, the weekend couldn't come any sooner!